Hi there,

Handing your child a phone seems harmless at first. But what happens when it becomes their go-to source of connection, entertainment, and distraction? Anxiety spikes, attention spans shrink, and suddenly, the phone is a tool for comparison, isolation, and endless scrolling.

These issues aren’t new, we’ve known they’d come. So, what do we do when the damage is already happening? That’s exactly what we’re tackling in today’s issue. Let’s get started…  

 Why Phones Under 13 Hit Hard

• Anxiety

• Body image struggles

• Social withdrawal

• Shortened attention spans

• Impulse control issues

• Lowered self-esteem

• Decreased academic performance

• Greater exposure to harmful content

You name it, they’re all linked to phone usage in children. None of this is new to us as parents. We’ve known these risks, and yet, phones continue to creep in earlier and earlier. 

What do we do next? If your child already has a phone, start creating phone-free zones. Make family meals, weekends, and bedtime non-negotiable time away from screens. Enforce these zones consistently, and you’ll begin to shift the balance.

New Study Says Kids Under 13 Shouldn't Have Smartphones.. Read here! 

The Algorithm Audit  

My son’s feed is full of things I never expected, memes, gaming tips, strange challenges. And it’s actively shaping his worldview. 

Have a 15 minute “algorithm check” once a week, sit with your child and scroll through their youtube or social media feed together. Ask about the content: "What do you think about this?" "Why do you follow that account?" It opens up important conversations and helps you understand where their interests are going.

Dodge £1,000s in shock bills, block nudity & even ‘lock’ volume with little-known iPhone tricks for parents. READ here!  

Repeat After Me…

You need to hear this, 👏 Strictness is a form of love👏

Kids who spend too much time on their phones are at risk for more than just being distracted. Phones change them. They can become addicted, moody, and socially disconnected.

Yes, it’s hard to be the “no-fun parent,” but if you can set limits around screen time, you’re giving them a chance to thrive off-screen as well. 

My all time favorite is the “20/20 rule”, after 20 minutes of screen time, make sure your child takes a 20-minute break. They have to engage in a physical activity, or reading, or outdoor play. It helps! 

52 parents answered, how do they manage their kids’ screen time without it turning into a battle? READ here!  

Busy Kids Stay Balanced

What happens when your kid has nothing to do after school? Phone time fills the void. But what if there were alternatives? Imagine if your child looked forward to coming home because they knew they’d spend time with you, with a friend, or doing something fun, offline?

Here’s the thing, kids who are busy doing something meaningful don’t need to reach for their phone when they’re bored. What worked for me was creating routine after-school plans. 

TIP: Create a “fun list” with your child. Come up with 5–10 fun activities that don’t involve screens like board games, cooking together, or a walk outside. Keep it where they can see it. When boredom hits, pull from that list. You’ll be amazed at how quickly they shift out of the phone zone.

The Lost Third Place

When I was growing up, my friends and I hung out at the park or went to the mall. There was always somewhere we could go that wasn’t home or school. Now, kids don’t have those spaces, the phone has become their third place. But what if we could create real-world third places again?

This idea isn’t new, but it’s important, third places help kids build relationships, create their own social worlds, and learn skills that aren’t digital. 

PRO TIP: Start a parent group where you all agree to limit phones until a certain grade. Plan offline activities together for your kids, bowling, hiking, or simply meeting at a park. This is the kind of thing that makes a difference in how connected your child feels.  

Instead of Buying Them a Phone… 

It’s easy to think a smartphone is the only way to stay connected with your child. Not true! 

Instead of handing your child a smartphone, consider devices that provide GPS tracking and communication (voice and text) without the risk of social media or internet exposure.

Here are five great alternatives:

Bark Phone
Apple Watch SE (GPS + Cellular)
Fitbit Ace LTE
COSMO JrTrack 4
Relay by Republic Wireless

These devices allow your child to stay connected safely while keeping things simple and screen-free.

 📥 Bonus for our community: Middle School Survival Toolkit

We’ve created a little toolkit to help you navigate the middle school years and how to go about raising tweens in the scroll era. It includes everything from screen-time tips to conversation starters, emotional literacy resources, and more.

13 Small Shifts That Keep You in the Loop [access it here] 

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 💗 

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow -Back Parents 📧

The phone doesn’t need to take over your family’s life. You can still be the one setting the tone, even if the phone is already in their pocket.

It’s about giving your child structure, boundaries, and alternatives. With a little effort, you can still create space for connection, and keep that screen from taking over. 

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛