Hi there,

Last week, my older one (13) asked if he could be the DJ and play all the walk-up songs and pump-up music for my younger son’s baseball game. My husband suggested emailing the mom who's in charge and coordinating with her.

My son emailed, and the note was, let’s say, a little too perfect and formal for a tween. I knew he didn't write it himself; it was all ChatGPT. When I called him out, he just shrugged. "I was emailing an adult. I wanted it to sound good."

Fair. But also, his first instinct wasn't to write it himself. It was to outsource it to AI.

This got me thinking about the impact of AI on kids today and how they are actually using it.

For Now, My Younger Son Is Safe

My 10-year-old still has paper homework. Teachers at school have been creative that way; he still has to write things down and turn them in. So I'm not worried (yet!).

The schools in our county have also banned ChatGPT-like; it's completely blocked on school networks. They can't access it during the day. So at least while they're at school, I know they're not using it.

But at home? They absolutely can, and they do.

The Problem: Everything's Online, So How Do You Even Track It?

Monitoring AI isn’t like monitoring screen time.

If kids are on their phones for three hours, they can be watching YouTube. But if they're typing questions into ChatGPT while doing homework or just browsing the internet? You'll have no idea.

Everything they do is online now. Communication, research, and somewhere in all of that, AI is just... woven in.

I can't realistically ask, "Did you use ChatGPT for that?" every single time. Which brings me to the other thing that's been on my mind…

Kids Are Already Better at This Than We Are

My son didn't need me to teach him how to use ChatGPT. He just figured it out.

Kids today have access to so much more information than we ever did. They can ask AI anything. On the one hand, that's incredible. They're learning things faster. On the other hand, are they actually learning?

A report I read recently said that kids born after 2010 are showing lower critical thinking skills because they rely on these tools for everything, and I can see it.

But they also know way more than I did at their age. So where's the balance?

How I'm Using AI (So I Can't Judge)

I'll be honest, I use ChatGPT too.

I've used it for recipes, vacation planning, creating multiplication worksheets for my younger son, designing party invitations, troubleshooting tech issues on my laptop and even writing letters from Santa Claus (that rhyme perfectly!) during the holidays.

It's helpful. But I also wonder if I'm setting an example that makes my kids think it's okay to use it for everything.

So What Are the Boundaries Supposed to Look Like?

Honestly? I'm still figuring this out.

At home, we've used ChatGPT for things like math homework. But sometimes it gives the wrong answer. It just kind of agrees with you and spits something out, and if you don't actually know how to do the math, you won't catch the mistake.

So you still have to know how to do it yourself to know when AI is wrong.

My bigger concern isn't homework, though. It's the stuff I've been reading about kids using chatbots as friends. Like, full-on relationships with AI. Asking for advice about life and treating it like their best friend.

So for now, my boundary is just to monitor overall online time. One thing I’ve started doing is asking my kids how they got their answer. But beyond that? I don't know what the right answer is.

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents

I don't have this figured out.

I don't know where the line is between "this is a helpful tool" and "this is replacing actual thinking." So I'm asking: What are you doing?

Do you have boundaries around your kids using AI? How are you using AI in your own life? Hit reply and let me know. I'm genuinely curious what other parents are doing, because we're all figuring this out in real time.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛