Hi there,

"Homework"

It’s the one word that can turn a perfectly peaceful evening into chaos. I get it. I’ve lived it. In my home, homework looks like this…  

My younger one breezes through assignments (10 minutes flat). My older one… not so much. His math assignments are becoming increasingly challenging, and we've been caught in the familiar evening struggle where everyone's tired, frustrated, and nothing gets done without a ughhh.

But the problem isn't always the homework itself. It's how we're approaching it, and that’s precisely what we are breaking down in this issue! Let’s get started…

 I Think I Figured Out Why… 

There are 3 main reasons why kids resist homework 

1. Tired: After eight straight hours of school, kids’ brains are tired. Expecting them to come home and immediately focus on problem-solving feels overwhelming. Their resistance is exhaustion.

2. AI: Kids today know about AI and they’re asking…

“Why should I learn to write when I can type bullet points and get an essay?”
“Why memorize math when AI can solve it instantly?”

For developing minds, that’s concerning because neural connections only strengthen through practice. 

Your kid is using AI for homework this year. Now what? 

3. Conflicts: Parents and kids often clash over how to solve problems. For example, with “New Math,” kids learn to break down numbers instead of multiplying the way we did. 

When parents try teaching their own method, kids push back, saying, “That’s not how we’re supposed to do it!” This results in frustration on both sides. 

 Strategies That Really Help

Homework resistance is something almost every parent faces. But often, the solution is about rethinking the approach. Here’s what works for me:

1. Change the environment: Sometimes the problem isn’t what your child is doing, but where they’re doing it. Try mixing it up:

• Head to a Starbucks or park on a nice day.

• Move to a different room at home.

• Create a dedicated “homework space” separate from play or relaxation areas.

A simple change in scenery can often turn struggle into something they’d look forward to.

2. Change the timing: The time of day matters more than we think. With my older son, evenings were a constant battle between auditions, activities, and exhaustion; homework just felt impossible.

So we tried something new, mornings at 7:30 am. 

He wakes up 30 minutes earlier, eats breakfast while working, and finishes his math before school. His mind is fresh, the distractions haven’t started yet, and he focuses better. I’d say that’s a win!

3. Handle meltdowns smarter: Stop fighting with your child over homework. Instead, adjust the environment, shift the timing, or bring in outside help.

Think about sports. Kids listen to coaches differently than they listen to parents. The same applies to tutors, teachers, or even free resources like Khan Academy. Preserving your role as their safe place matters far more than winning homework arguments. 

For Parents 🤍 

Never assume your child is the only one struggling. Many families face the same homework challenges, but parents often feel like they're uniquely failing. This is just the spotlight effect making you think your situation is worse than everyone else's. 

I live in an area with high academic pressure, where parents constantly push their kids to excel. Some of these kids are struggling because they've advanced beyond their appropriate level. 

Remember, homework has value for building discipline and practicing concepts, but it shouldn't dominate your family's limited time together.

10 ways to support your child through academic pressure and mental health challenges.  

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 💗

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

 📥 Bonus for our community: Middle School Survival Toolkit

We’ve created a little toolkit to help you navigate the middle school years and how to go about raising tweens in the scroll era. It includes everything from screen-time tips to conversation starters, emotional literacy resources, and more.

13 Small Shifts That Keep You in the Loop [access it here] 

Note for My Fellow -Back Parents 📧

The homework struggle is an absolute horror, but it doesn't have to define your evenings.

Your relationship with your child matters more than perfect homework completion. Find what works for your family, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

See you next week,

Lakshmi 💛