Hi there,

This Mother’s Day, my son didn’t want help picking a gift, not from me, not from my husband. He wanted to use his own money, make his own choice, and keep it a surprise.

It was the first time money felt personal to him. And it reminded me: kids start learning about money long before we ever sit them down to “teach” it.

Hi, I’m Lakshmi, mom of two curious boys, and in today’s issue, we’re talking about how money shows up in kids’ lives, and how we can guide those early lessons without turning every moment into a lecture.

How Money Shows Up in a Kid’s Life (Before You Teach It)

You don’t need to sit your kid down with a PowerPoint on budgeting. They’re already learning by living.

It shows up when they’re out with friends and want to buy a snack. When they want something from the school book fair.

When they save up to buy a gift, or argue with a sibling over who gets to keep the birthday money.

My older son is in middle school now, so he’s getting more independent. He’s out on his own more. Which means he’s making more small financial decisions on the fly.

And as parents, we’re either part of that conversation, or we’re not. But the conversation is happening.

Why We Don’t Do Allowances

We don’t do weekly allowances. And we don’t pay for chores either, because in our home, chores are just part of being a family. 

But when our son helps with something beyond the usual, like designing a Canva presentation for my husband’s big presentation, we’ll pay for that. 

It’s really not about the money, but about recognizing real effort and skill.

That’s the kind of value I do want him to connect with money.

Should kids get an allowance? Learn about the pros and cons.  

When They Spend Too Fast 💨

Summer is full of temptation, snacks, toys, games. Give a kid some cash and it disappears fast.

One thing that’s helped us: clear time limits. If our son earns money, we don’t top it up the minute it’s gone. He has to sit with the choice he made.

It builds delayed gratification. And reflection: “Was that worth it?”

Even simple things like lemonade stands can help. Just walk them through the costs, lemons, cups, sugar.

Let them feel the math. It lands better that way.

Wants vs Needs (And Waiting a Week)

We don’t do the whole lecture route.

But we do have one go-to strategy: If one of my kids says they “need” something… we wait a week.

If it’s truly important, they’ll still want it. But if it was just an impulsive “I saw it on YouTube” type thing? It usually fades. 

I’ll even remind them later: “Remember when you had to have that toy? You forgot about it.”

That’s how we help them build patience without always saying no.

Teach your child delayed gratification… It will pay off later.  

And yes, sometimes we say yes to the ice cream. Not every moment has to be a lesson. That’s part of the balance too.

The difference between wants and needs, make it easy for your kids to understand! 

Tools That Help (and What We’re Trying)

We recently got a debit card for our 12-year-old through our regular bank. (There are also apps like Greenlight made specifically for kids.)

We only put a small amount on it, $100 or less, but it gave him the chance to manage digital money in a cashless world.  

One early hiccup? He wasn’t checking the balance. 

He’d ask me how much was left after each purchase. So now we’re encouraging him to log what he spends and keep track. Either on paper or digitally. 

But it’s a start. And starting early is the point.

The Immigrant Mindset

My parents moved to the U.S. in the 70s, frugal, hardworking, and always careful with money. Even after they earned well, my dad still chose the cheapest option, every time.

That mindset shaped me. And now, as a mom, I’m trying to shift it.

I want my kids to be responsible with money, without feeling guilty for spending it. Money should be a tool, not a source of stress.

It’s not easy to unlearn what you’ve inherited.

But naming it helps. And that’s where change begins.

That’s all for this week, parents! See you again next week, same time 💗

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧

We talk a lot about teaching kids how to manage money.

But really, they’re watching how we relate to it, how we spend, save, give, and talk about it at the dinner table.

So the goal isn’t to raise kids who obsess over every rupee. It’s to raise kids who see money as a tool, not a source of stress.

Let them practice. Let them mess up a little.

And trust that the real lessons will come, not from perfection, but from experience.

— Lakshmi 💛