Hi there,

Some days, I catch myself mid-scroll wondering how we even got here.

We all started out with good intentions, staying in touch, sharing a few pictures, maybe reconnecting with old friends. But somewhere along the way, the whole thing shifted. Now it feels like we’re all performing for algorithms, whether we realize it or not.

And this is the world our kids are stepping into. Not the internet we grew up with. The rules have changed, and so have the risks.

Hi, I’m Lakshmi, mom of two curious boys. In today’s issue, I’m sharing how I’m thinking about the relationship I want my kids to build with social media, both now and as they grow.

Let’s get started ⬇️

Right Now vs. The Future

Right now, my boys aren’t on Instagram or TikTok. For them, “social media” looks more like video games, that’s where they chat, hang out, and make plans.

But even there, I’ve noticed it, if you’re not participating, you’re on the outside looking in. My older one isn’t much of a gamer, and sometimes he feels it. He’ll say, “They’re all just playing together online, that’s why I’m not seeing them.” 

And as a parent, there’s this push-pull, you want them to have friends. You don’t love the medium those friendships require.

If I had my way? I’d want them to use social media the way we say we do, as a tool for connection (not for validation)

But I’m also realistic. Even adults fall into that trap.  

Connection vs. Performance

Kids are naturally authentic. They’re themselves without thinking about it. But the minute something “works” online, a post does well, a video goes viral, it’s so easy to start performing. That’s human nature.

 I think authenticity is going to become even more valuable in a world of AI influencers.

Perfection isn’t proof you’re real anymore. Messiness might be. Imperfections might be the thing that makes people trust you.

But again, it’s tricky.

Because the moment you realize authenticity gets you more attention, it stops being purely authentic, doesn’t it? It’s a circle I haven’t figured out how to square yet. 

What I am trying to teach before that first DM gets sent:

Kindness. Privacy. Discernment. Self-worth.

I keep coming back to this, only say online what you’d want said about you.

And don’t believe everything you see online. Especially in the acting world which we’ve been thrown into, these kids see peers who’ve booked big roles, who have millions of followers. It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.

But everyone’s timeline is different.

Media Guidelines for Teens. READ here! 

For other parents wondering what to do next 

One of the simplest things you can do is talk to other parents. Figure out what everyone’s rules are,  because consistency helps. If none of the kids are allowed on TikTok yet, it’s easier for everyone.

Of course, you’ll want to keep an eye on what your kids are posting, but just as important is keeping an eye on what they’re seeing. Their feeds don’t look like ours, and you won’t really understand what’s shaping their world unless you sit down next to them and take a look.

When you do talk about it, keep it light. Small comments here and there land better than big lectures, otherwise, they’re bound to push back.

Sometimes just sitting with them for a few minutes, noticing what’s on their screen, and asking a question or two is enough. That’s how you help them start thinking for themselves. 

Keeping your kids off of social media? Right or wrong? Check the comments to know what parents across the world are thinking!  

📥 Bonus for our community: Middle School Survival Toolkit

We’ve created a little toolkit to help you navigate the middle school years and how to go about raising tweens in the scroll era. It includes everything from screen-time tips to conversation starters, emotional literacy resources, and more. 13 Small Shifts That Keep You in the Loop [access it here]

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 💗

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧

There’s no perfect strategy for this. No app that makes it easy, no settings menu where you can switch off the risks and leave only the good parts.

What I’ve come to realize is this, I can’t control every screen they’ll scroll through, but I can help shape the lens they bring to it. I can teach them to question what they see, to value who they are without the likes, and to understand the difference between connection and performance.

Most of all, I can show up. Pay attention. Have the conversations, even the small ones, before someone else’s feed teaches them what to think.

That’s enough to start.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛