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What Happens When You Stop Fixing Every Mistake
Why Discipline in Our Home Is Built on Ownership, Not Constant Corrections
Hi there,
If you’re raising kids today, you know the feeling. You want to stay calm, set boundaries, not yell, but also not let them think they can get away with everything.
It’s a balancing act. Some days you get it right, some days you don't.
Hi I am Lakshmi, mom of 2 and I’m right here sharing this feeling wholeheartedly with you. Today, I want to share how discipline looks in our home, and a few small shifts that have helped along the way. Let’s get started… 😀
What Discipline Means to Us
When I think about discipline, punishment isn’t the first thing that comes to mind.
For me, it’s about helping kids connect their actions to outcomes, good or bad, so they can start managing themselves without someone stepping in every time.
At our house, we don’t jump on every small thing.
If mornings are messy, we don’t start yelling.
We sit down later and chat: "What do you think you could change for tomorrow?"
Sometimes they fix it. Sometimes they don't. And when they don't, they live with the ripple effects, running late, forgetting something important, rushing out the door.
How Discipline Changes As They Grow
At five years old, discipline was about reminders: "Say please." "Pick up your shoes." "Use kind words."
Now, at nine and twelve, it's about ownership: Setting their alarms. Getting their schoolwork ready. Packing their snacks.
When they forget, don’t scold them. Let them deal with the real inconvenience, a rushed morning or a hungry afternoon.
As they grow, discipline grows too, moving from reminders to real-world responsibility.
My Take! 👏 A section where we talk about some of the most interesting topics, and what I think about them, and for this week, we have: Should You Be Your Kid’s Best Friend? It's tempting. It feels good to have your kids think you're the fun one, the one they can always laugh with, the one who says yes when others say no. But for me, right now, friendship isn't the goal. Trust is. My job is to be their safe place, someone they can come to without fear, even when they've made a mistake. Not someone who makes everything easy or says yes just to avoid a tough moment. They need parents who will guide them when they’re uncertain, not just clap when they’re happy. They need to know that boundaries aren’t about power, they’re about safety and love. There will be a time for friendship. One day, when they’re grown, when they’ve built their own lives, I hope we’ll be the kind of friends who can talk about anything. And that’s the kind of relationship I’m building first. |
Gentle Parenting Isn’t “Anything Goes”
There's this idea floating around that gentle parenting means letting kids do whatever they want. That’s simply not true!
Growing up, I had a laid-back dad, and that’s shaped how I see discipline.
I never wanted fear to be the reason my kids listen. I couldn’t hit them even if I tried. It just doesn’t sit right with me.
We do raise our voices when we need to be serious. But when it comes to consequences, we stay connected to the behavior. Gentle parenting doesn't mean permissive parenting. What you've been getting all wrong about it! READ here.
If it’s about misusing screens, the screens go away. If it’s about disrespecting each other, privileges get paused.
It's not random. It’s not emotional payback. It's about teaching that actions and outcomes are always tied together, just like they are in the real world.
That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 💗
Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week:
🔖 READ: Experts warn against common parenting style — which can have lasting negative effects on children.
🔖 READ: Emodiversity? What is it?
Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧
One thing I'm still working on? Following through, every single time.
It's so tempting to soften a consequence when the day has been long and patience feels thin. But every time I do, even a little, it muddies the message.
Soft discipline isn’t easier than traditional discipline. It’s harder, because it demands consistency, patience, and a longer view.
It asks us to let go of needing instant results, and trust that the seeds we plant now will show up later.
And that’s the work I'm still learning to do.
Until next time,
Lakshmi 💛
When it comes to discipline, which one feels hardest for you? |