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Hi there!   

I want you to imagine this: your preteen rushing out the door, their backpack half-zipped, breakfast untouched, and a panicked “Where’s my homework?” ringing through the house.

Life gets chaotic, and as kids grow older, their schedules become busier and less predictable. This is exactly why routines are so important. They act as an anchor, helping kids stay grounded in an otherwise overwhelming world. 

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Routine = Less Stress 📉

Routines aren’t just about organization; they provide a sense of control, which is especially important for older kids dealing with academic pressures, social dynamics, and extracurricular activities. 

Children without routines often face higher anxiety levels and slower cognitive development. Predictable habits like packing a bag the night before or setting an alarm are small but powerful steps toward giving them a sense of stability. 

Change is Important…

As kids grow, routines need to adapt. What worked when they were younger may not work for their current needs. For example, younger kids may need help with tasks like packing lunches or setting out their clothes. But as they grow older, they’re ready to take on more responsibility.

When my older son was in third grade, he routinely relied on me to wake up for school. Once we showed him how to set up his alarm, he loved having ownership of his mornings and one responsible behavior led to others (like figuring out his own breakfast) —a small change that made him more independent and capable.

Best practices when making your child’s routine 🤙

Let’s get to the fun stuff. Here are my top 10 best practices to make a bullet-proof routine for my kid:  

• Stick to consistent routines but allow adjustments when needed.

• Use timers, checklists, or simple apps to help kids stay on track.

• Add small rewards or celebrate milestones to keep them motivated.

• Ask your child what they want to change or improve in their routine.

• Encourage them to lay out clothes, pack bags, and prep snacks to make mornings smoother.

• Schedule moments for connection, such as family meals or bedtime chats.

• Avoid overloading their schedule; leave room for downtime and relaxation.

• Establish simple daily tasks like wake-up times, meals, and bedtime rituals.

• Reassess routines regularly to ensure they fit your child’s age and changing needs.

• Encourage your child to take responsibility for tasks like packing their school bag or setting their alarm.

I made a guide to how I would design my older one’s routine, get it here!   

Breathe and Keep it Flexible 🤝

Routines don’t have to be rigid. The goal is to have a structure that works most of the time while allowing for flexibility when life gets busy. For instance, brushing teeth and taking a shower are daily non-negotiables, but whether they happen at night or in the morning can depend on how the day unfolds.

This balance ensures routines are sustainable and adaptable without adding unnecessary pressure.

What About Family Time???

I know you’re thinking how family time fits into the bigger picture. Here’s the deal: while some families aim for dinner together every night, it’s not always realistic.   

Instead, prioritize a few shared meals each week or find alternative times, like breakfast, to connect. The goal is consistency, not perfection—what matters most is creating meaningful moments together.

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 😌

Building routines isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating small, consistent habits that empower your kids to take control of their day. As they grow, routines help them feel more capable and confident in handling responsibilities. 

And for parents, it’s a chance to step back, trust your child’s independence, and enjoy watching them flourish. PS: You’re shaping resilient, self-reliant individuals—take a moment to appreciate that!

Catch you next time!
– Lakshmi (Chief of Chill Parenting 😎)