Hi there,

I used to think “skills” meant good grades or maybe being good at a sport. He’s great at math. She’s amazing at tennis. That’s where my mind went.

But I was wrong. There are skills that don’t show up on a report card, and they’re just as important, sometimes more. These are the skills that make kids independent, capable, and confident in the real world. 

Here are seven I think every child should learn so they aren’t absolutely clueless as adults. Let’s begin! 

 #1 Talking to Strangers Safely (and Gracefully)

This one is about both safety and confidence. Kids need to know how to interact with adults respectfully, without being shy or reckless.

At dinners with friends, I’ve often noticed the same pattern. Parents order for all the kids at the table. “He’ll have this. She’ll have that.”

In our family it sometimes takes longer, because my boys place their own orders. But those extra minutes give them the practice to look at the waiter, speak clearly, and handle the exchange themselves.

It’s such a small thing, but it builds confidence. When children get used to speaking to adults in safe situations, they don’t freeze later when it matters. First steps for you: 

• Begin in low-stakes settings. Let them order their meal at McDonald’s or ask for ketchup at a diner.
  

• Coach them on basics: look the person in the eye, use polite words, and listen for the response.
  

• Debrief afterward: “How did that feel? What would you do differently next time?” 

Over time, they’ll know how to carry themselves in the world, and how to tell when an interaction feels safe or not.           

#2 Money Basics

Money can be overwhelming for kids when they’ve never been allowed to handle it. Many parents hover so tightly that children freeze at the idea of paying $2 for a snack.

Even if you don’t want to dive into allowances, you can begin with basics: 

• Saving: put aside a small amount from birthday money or pocket money.
  

• Spending: make choices about what to buy and what to skip.
  

• Value: understand why some things cost more than others.

One parent I know lets her tween write down every “want” for the month, then revisit the list later. Kids quickly realize how much of it doesn’t matter anymore, a powerful lesson in value.

How to Talk to Kids About Money, And Why You Should Do So Early.  

#3 First Aid

Kids get hurt, that’s inevitable. What matters is whether they know what to do when it happens.

If one of my boys scratches his knee, I don’t want his first reaction to be panic or shouting for me. I want him to know the steps, stop, clean the wound, and then cover it. Teach them:

• Where the first aid kit lives in your home.
  

• The difference between a bruise, a cut, and something that needs a grown-up’s help.
  

• How to stay calm and comfort a friend who’s hurt.

Those are small actions, but they give kids confidence that they can take care of themselves.

Teach Your Kids Basic First Aid and More in Less Than 4 Weeks!  

#4 Negotiation and Speaking Up

Let’s all accept the fact that kids are all great negotiators. Almost all of us hear things like, “If I clean my room, can I have extra screen time?” on a daily basis. 

But negotiation is also self advocacy. Speaking up respectfully when something bothers them or something needs to be said. Examples: 

• Asking a teacher for extra help instead of waiting for parents to step in.
  

• Talking to a coach about needing a different role on the team.
  

• Standing up to a peer without being aggressive.

Tip: role-play these situations. Ask: “What would you say if your teacher gave you a deadline you couldn’t meet? How would you explain without sounding rude?” 

This is the skill that makes kids feel like they have a voice, not just at home, but beyond.

Negotiation 101 for Kids! Read Here... 

#5 Problem Solving Under Stress

Life throws curveballs. A missed school bus. A group project gone wrong. A fight with a friend.

Many kids default to panic or “call Mom.” But teaching them to pause, breathe, and problem-solve builds resilience. One way to start is with low-stakes stress tests:

• If a game piece goes missing, ask, “How could we improvise?”
  

• If you’re stuck in traffic, ask, “What’s our backup plan?”
  

• Encourage them to think of more than one solution.

The point is to build the habit of stopping and thinking, even when emotions run high.

#6 Cooking and Household Basics

Cooking and chores are survival skills. And they aren’t gendered.

My kids can make pasta, chop vegetables, and clean up after themselves. And for now it’s enough. Start small: 

• Teach sandwiches, boiled eggs, or rice.
  

• Involve them in baking, measuring, stirring, watching the oven.
  

• Show them how to load the washing machine, not just toss dirty clothes in a basket.

The goal is to make them capable kids who can feed themselves and take care of the basics when they need to. That’s why these are called survival skills in the first place. 

15 Easy Recipes for Teens to Help Them Learn to Cook. Read Here! 

#7 Directions and Navigation

I worry sometimes about how much we all depend on GPS. What happens if the phone dies?

One trick I use since they were really little: when we’re driving somewhere familiar, I ask my kids to tell me when to turn. Even though I know the way, it forces them to notice landmarks and track direction.

Skills like these prevent kids from feeling lost when they start driving, and build awareness of their environment.

Little by little, they start to connect places in their heads instead of just following a screen.  

📥 Bonus for our community: Middle School Survival Toolkit

We’ve created a little toolkit to help you navigate the middle school years and how to go about raising tweens in the scroll era. It includes everything from screen-time tips to conversation starters, emotional literacy resources, and more.

13 Small Shifts That Keep You in the Loop [access it here] 

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 💗 

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow -Back Parents 📧

The truth is, kids don’t learn these skills from one-time lessons. They learn through repeated exposure.

If I only once asked my child to direct me on the road, it wouldn’t stick. But if I do it regularly, it becomes natural.

So the next time you feel like stepping in, pause. Ask: What would you do here?

Let them try. You’ll be surprised at how much they rise to the occasion.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛