Hi there,

I grew up in the 80s and 90s as one of the only Indian kids in my schools.

There were two other Indian kids in my entire school, and one was my brother.

Nobody knew what Diwali was. My parents had to go out of their way to teach us about Indian traditions because there was no community, no temple nearby, no festivals to attend. If we were going to learn anything about our culture, they had to sit us down and explain it.

Fast forward to now.

My younger son has 20 Indian-origin kids in his class. There are massive Diwali celebrations all over the city, neighborhood parties, school events, and friends hosting.

In between all of these, you'd think they'd understand the culture better, but they don't, and it made me think that exposure doesn’t really equal understanding.

Raising kids in a multi-cultural environment is different and not that easy.

The Reality of Raising Kids in Two Cultures

Raising kids who belong to two cultures is not automatic.

Just because they're around cultural traditions doesn't mean they're absorbing them or that they understand what's being celebrated or why it matters.

This is true for any parent trying to pass down culture, heritage, or traditions in a country where their kids are growing up differently from the way they did.

You can expose your kids to everything. The food, the holidays, the language, the community, but if you don't stop and explain the meaning behind it, it doesn't stick.

They learn the trends. But the culture gets lost.

My Husband Rebelled Because It Was Pushed Too Hard

My husband also grew up here; he moved to the US when he was 3. But his experience was completely different from mine.

He grew up in Chicago, where there were a lot more Indians. His parents didn't explain things to him because they assumed he'd pick it up from being around other Indian families. But because it was just expected to follow the traditions, he didn't actually understand why any of it mattered.

So when he went to college? He rebelled. It felt like something that had been forced on him without explanation.

He came back to it later, but it took years. That's what I don't want for my kids.

What I Do Differently: I Stop and Explain

Because I've seen the difference between kids who understand their culture and those who don't, I make a point of actually explaining things.

Not in a heavy-handed way or "you have to do this" way. But in a way that makes sense to them.

For example, when we do pujas (prayers), I don't just go through the motions. I explain what the puja is about. I translate some of the Sanskrit prayers into English, so they actually know what they're saying. I explain why we take our shoes off at the door. Why do we celebrate certain holidays? What are the stories behind the traditions?

And honestly? They don't push back. Because I'm not forcing it on them. I'm just explaining it. If they understand the why, they're way more likely to participate.

The Balance: Take the Best of Both

You don't have to choose one culture over the other. You can take the best of both.

We follow our culture and also let the kids make their own decisions about what traditions matter to them as they get older.

The key is not to push hard, because that forms resentment, and then they drop it all the second they leave home.

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents

If you're raising kids in two cultures or even just trying to pass down traditions from your own heritage, you don't have to do it perfectly.

You don't have to force them to speak another language fluently or follow every tradition exactly as your parents did. But it's worth stopping to explain the why.

Because exposure isn't enough. Kids don't absorb culture through osmosis. They need context, and the best gift you can give them is making them understand their heritage without resenting it.

If you're navigating this too, whether it's Indian culture, another culture, or just trying to pass down family traditions. I'd love to hear how you're doing it. Hit reply and let me know.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛