Hi there,

I finished watching Adolescence on Netflix last night—and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. 

From the way it was filmed (all in one shot!) to the quiet unraveling of a teenage boy’s life, it was haunting. Not in the jump-scare way, but in this could be any of our kids' way. As a parent, I couldn’t help but feel unsettled. I thought I was prepared. But the truth is... we don’t know what we don’t know.

So let’s talk about it. 

What hit home for me… 

We’ve all seen shows about teens and social media. But this one was different. It didn’t villainize the parents. It showed loving, present, well-meaning parents, who still missed it. Because this stuff is subtle. It’s quiet. 

It's in the DMs, in the late-night scrolls, in the things kids don’t say.

And the acting? Phenomenal. That boy’s outburst at the psychologist, I actually flinched. The tension, the confusion, the shame, the rage... it was all there.

📱 The digital elephant in the room   

Here’s what I took away from this as a parent:

◾ Social media isn’t neutral. It’s shaping our kids’ self-worth. Whether they post or just consume, they’re learning what “success” looks like, vacations, likes, abs, attention.

◾ Signaling is real. Kids are constantly trying to “prove” they’re cool, in-the-loop, or valuable. Sometimes they exaggerate or make things up, not because they’re liars, but because they’re trying to figure out who they are, they are trying to feel a sense of belonging.

◾ Boys are struggling deeply. My cousin (a family psychiatrist) sees more boys than girls now. Because as the world shifts in empowering girls (which is great), many boys are left confused. They don’t know how to fit in anymore. And nobody’s really talking about it.

What should we be looking for? 👀

A few things I try to stay mindful of: 

🚩 Isolation: “I’m going to my room” for hours on end? It’s worth checking in. 

🚩 Sudden changes in behavior or energy: If your usually talkative kid goes quiet, or vice versa, it could mean something. 

🚩 Subtle lies or inflated stories: A little bragging isn’t new. But if it feels constant or performative, it might be signaling insecurity.

We’re not just parents anymore. We’re detectives, too. And it’s hard. 

Because even as we watch our babies grow into these complicated little people, we still want to believe they’re not ready for the hard stuff. But they are. Or at least, the world thinks they are.

💡 What can we do about it? 

Every family is different, but here’s what’s worked for us (and what we’ve heard from others):

✔️ Delay social media. I know it’s easier said than done, but we’ve committed to no smartphones until eighth grade. My 12-year-old son has a smartwatch, he can message friends, but he’s not on Instagram or Snapchat and without a phone, he physically can’t be. 

✔️ Create a parent pact. Talk to other parents and set boundaries together. Kids are less likely to feel left out if their whole circle is on the same page.

✔️ Keep screens in common spaces. No devices in bedrooms. We’re not watching over their shoulders 24/7, but we are aware.

✔️ Talk. And then talk some more. Especially with boys. They won’t open up the way girls might. But that doesn’t mean we stop trying. We ask questions. We notice. We stay present.

✔️ Screen monitoring? Personally, I think it should be the last resort. If your kid feels spied on, they’ll just find ways around it—and trust is harder to rebuild than to maintain. 

📥 Bonus for our community: Middle School Survival Toolkit

We’ve created a little toolkit to help you navigate the middle school years and how to go about raising tweens in the scroll era. It includes everything from screen-time tips to conversation starters, emotional literacy resources, and more.

13 Small Shifts That Keep You in the Loop [access it here]

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 🩷

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧 

I know many of us aren't the helicopter-type. We believe in giving our kids space, trusting them to figure things out, and not over-policing every move they make. Same here.

But watching Adolescence reminded me that even the most hands-off, loving, intuitive parents can miss things, especially in the digital world where so much happens in silence, or behind a screen. 

If you’ve watched the show, I’d love to hear what struck you most. And if you haven’t yet, watch it. Not just as a viewer, but as a parent. 

Because the world our kids are growing up in? It’s different. And we need to be prepared.

With love,
– Lakshmi