Hi there!   

Last week, my 11-year-old was acting weird... We knew something wasn’t right!!  

But the question was, what’s up with him? 

Storytime! His younger brother won the City Tennis Championship and all of us were having a fun time celebrating his achievement. But I noticed how my older one’s mood just took a nosedive through the day. 

The usual cheerleader brother was huffy, annoyed and quiet when asked anything.. 

Yes it was the J word. But the day ended with him getting a cake for his brother. Let’s talk about how…

Hi, I am Lakshmi, your laid-back neighborhood parent. I have heard similar incidents from my fellow mom friends, too.  

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The J Word in Kids

Jealousy is an emotion we all experience, no matter our age. And yes, kids feel it too. But what truly matters is how you choose to respond when your child feels jealous—whether it’s over a situation or someone else.

Here’s the biggest mistake most parents make: they try to address it immediately. Pause the pep talk for a sec! 

When my 11-year-old was overwhelmed with jealousy he didn’t recognize, I didn’t jump in to fix it right away (even though I REALLY wanted to). Instead, I chose to step back. 

Why? 

Because kids need time to sit with their emotions, to process what they’re feeling. They don’t need a parent swooping in to label their reaction as wrong—they need the space to make sense of it on their own.    

Here are other proven ways to deal with jealousy among kids without making them feel unsafe.   

Flip the Script

The next day, instead of pointing out his jealousy, I said, “Why don’t you come up with an idea to celebrate your brother’s win? Maybe we can get a big cookie or a cookie cake for the family—but it’ll come from you.”

That flipped the script. Suddenly, he wasn’t just the onlooker—he was in charge of making the celebration special. He got excited, picked out the cake, and proudly surprised his brother. 

The lesson? Involve them, give them a role, and watch them rise to the occasion.  

What about other situations? 

Jealousy doesn’t stop at siblings—it shows up with friends too. Maybe your kid feels left out when their friend wins a competition or gets a big achievement. The approach? Remind them of their own strengths. 

When my older son feels overshadowed by a friend, I gently bring him back to his unique abilities. He’s an actor and very creative, and I remind him, “Your friend might be great at tennis or spelling, but you have your own thing—you shine in ways they don’t.”

Here’s a guide to deal with jealousy in friendships. 

My favorite quote one of my mom friends told me is “people get jealous of things they should be inspired by” 

Let’s let that sink in! 

That’s all for today’s edition, parents! See you soon, but first…

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧

Jealousy, rivalries, and friendships—it’s all part of growing up. Our job? To stay calm, guide them with love, and show them how to turn these moments into growth. Parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress.  

If you liked what you read, and know someone who has pre teens and they need help, feel free to send this newsletter to them. 

Let’s raise compassionate kids, one day at a time! 

Catch you next time, 

Lakshmi (Chief of Chill Parenting)