Hi there,

Last week, most of the country was like us in Atlanta and stuck inside because of bad weather. Power was out in some places and many kids ended up having remote learning.

They were at home completing the printed homework their teachers sent or watching YouTube. A lot of YouTube.

And that brings up the question a lot of us have given a thought to: Is YouTube really raising our kids? If it is, should we be worried about it?

How YouTube works in our house

When kids are younger, screen time rules feel manageable. You get one hour of screen time after one hour of physical activity. Back then, you could be strict and set boundaries with them.

But for us, somewhere around ages 8-10, that system fell apart.

Like last week, my son's teachers assigned a science video as part of remote learning. Great educational content.

Except as soon as the video ended, the algorithm immediately started suggesting other videos. Within five minutes, he was not watching science but something completely different.

Unless you're sitting right there the entire time, you won't catch it. So we have a rule: if you are watching YouTube, you do so in a common area. It could be in the family room or the dining table. Somewhere, I can hear what they are watching.

I don’t hover, but when someone starts cursing in a video or when the videos change rapidly, I know they are scrolling YouTube Shorts, and I tell them to stop.

Sometimes I try to turn off YouTube Shorts from the settings. But then YouTube turns it back on a week later. It’s hard to keep up.

So where is the line?

Is YouTube really raising my kids?

I would say the answer isn't one-size-fits-all. There’s so many kids who know how to do things we never taught them, all from watching videos.

Both of my kids can cook. Real recipes. They watch cooking videos, pause them, measure ingredients, and follow along step by step. I was not doing anything like that when I was their age because I did not have access to that kind of information.

My older son is really into filmmaking. He has learned how to edit videos, make trailers, use effects all from YouTube. He just watched tutorials and figured it out.

Some kids are learning coding this way or learning to draw, build things, and solve problems. They pick up skills based on whatever they are passionate about.

So it’s not all bad. 

The hard boundaries question

I know some parents who have zero tolerance for social media during the week. No YouTube Monday through Friday. Maybe an hour on weekends.

I get it. And honestly, if my kid is getting addicted or it’s resulting in behavioural issues, I would probably do the same.

Like, my older one is really into Mr Beast videos. You know, the challenges and the stunts. He loves it, and when a new video drops, he wants to watch it immediately.

Whereas the younger one tends to watch more cartoons. SpongeBob and stuff like that. I don’t mind most of the times.

Honestly, I watched cartoons as a kid, and I turned out fine. The truth is, it depends on the child. Enforcing strict limits on a kid who can self-regulate is unnecessary.

As parents, we need to find the balance.

It doesn't need to be educational 100% of the time. Kids need downtime, but they shouldn't be numbly scrolling for hours while their attention spans shrink and algorithms feed them bizarre content. So, how do you decide?

I say to base your decision on these questions: Ask yourself:

• Are they learning something or just zoning out?
  

• Are they watching content that aligns with their interests, or are they just clicking whatever the algorithm serves up?
  

• Can they stop when asked, or does turning off the screen trigger a meltdown?
  

• Are they still physically active, socializing with real people, and engaging with the world outside screens?

If the answers to most of those questions are good, then let it go.

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents

YouTube is part of childhood today. It just is.

Kids are learning from it. They're also probably watching things we wouldn't approve of if we knew about every single video. The algorithm is designed to keep them watching.

But what matters is whether they are still moving their bodies? Do they have real friendships? Can they focus on something for more than five minutes? Are they learning skills, exploring interests, or building something?

If yes, then YouTube isn't raising your kids. You are. It’s just one tool in a much bigger toolkit.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛