Hi there,

Last week has been weird and scary. I work from home, so when the TV is on, it's just there. All day. The war headlines, the updates, the fear.

But here’s the thing: my younger son gets home from school at 2:30. The first thing I do is turn off the TV.

Because I don't want this to be his whole world right now.

They Already Know

My older son told me yesterday that his social studies teacher asked the class, "How many of you know about the war?"

Every hand went up.

They're learning about the Middle East, so she brought it up. And apparently, all the kids knew. Not the specifics or the why and the who, but they knew something was happening.

My younger one knows too, though nobody's talking about it in his classes yet.

But they hear things. They come home and say, "So-and-so said this," or "He's a Trump supporter," and suddenly you realize they're picking up pieces of a conversation you didn't even know they were having.

Also, a lot of what they're hearing at school is misinformation coming from social media, and it gets twisted. So they come home with these half-formed ideas, and you have to figure out how to correct them without scaring them.

Honestly, there's a lot I don't know myself. 

The Balance: Let Them Be Curious, But Don't Let It Consume Them

It's good for kids to be aware. You want them to grow up informed, engaged, and eventually active in the world. But I also don't want them spiraling into "the world is going to end" mode.

Because when you're young, you don't understand the bigger picture. You hear "war," and it feels immediate, like it's happening here, even when it's not. So I let them ask questions. I answer honestly. But I also pull them back to: Okay, so what can we do right now?

During the start of the Russia-Ukraine war, many kids, including mine, started small fundraisers. They wanted to help. It gave them something to do instead of just feeling helpless.

That hasn't started yet this time, because everything just happened. But I wouldn't be surprised if it does.

As a parent, it's so easy to spiral into fear. To think about your own kids and wonder if they're safe, if the world is safe, if any of this is ever going to get better.

But then I remember: my kids are growing up in a different world than I did.

They've been conducting active-shooter drills since pre-school. It's horrible, and I wish it was different, but it's also just part of their reality. They're more resilient, informed, and aware of all this than we give them credit for. They’re more prepared than we ever were.

So What Do We Actually Tell Them?

I don't have a perfect script. But here's what I try to do:

1. Be honest, but age-appropriate. My 13-year-old gets more details than my younger one. That's just how it works.

2. Correct misinformation without catastrophizing. If they come home with something that's not true, I say, "That's not actually what happened."

3. Limit their news exposure. I don't let them sit and watch the news for hours. They can ask questions, but I'm not letting them doomscroll.

4. Give them a way to help. If they feel helpless, that's when the anxiety kicks in. So if they want to donate, write letters, or do something small, I let them.

Most importantly, I try not to let my fear become their fear. Because yes, the world is scary right now, but I really want them to still be kids as long as I can hold onto.

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents

You don't have to explain geopolitics to a 10-year-old. You're allowed to say, "I don't know," or "Let's look into that together."

If needed, force your family to turn off the TV, step away from the news, and let your kids just be kids for a little while longer.

They're going to grow up in this world, but they don't have to carry the weight of it all at once.

See you next week,
Lakshmi 💛