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Helicopter parents, gentle parenting, and the 'every-kid-gets-a-trophy' culture—are we unknowingly setting kids up for failure by protecting them from it? 

In a world where parents rush to solve every problem for their children, it’s worth asking: Are we helping or hurting them? Let’s talk about resilience, why it matters, and what it really takes to build it in today’s kids. 

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Are We Too Protective as Parents?

Let’s face it: most of us are guilty of being a little too protective. It’s easier to step in and fix things for our kids than to let them face the discomfort of solving problems themselves. 

Take schools, for example. Parents are quick to call about issues rather than encouraging kids to handle them on their own. This doesn’t just stop at childhood, colleges report that some parents call about their 20-year-olds’ class schedules!      

This overprotectiveness might feel good at the moment. But long-term, it could be setting them up to struggle when they’re on their own. 

Read this to know if you're too protective, and how to take a step back!.

My Take! 👏

A section where we talk about some of the most interesting pieces of media, and what I think about them, and for this week, we have:  

I’m a strict mum – my kids have been doing chores since they could walk & I bin their toys… other parents are lazy 

My POV: 

There has to be a really great balance of firmness and friendliness when it comes to parenting. If you’re too strict, then you’re ruling with an iron fist. It may work in the short-term, but you risk a healthy long-term relationship with your kids - one where they feel fear about coming to you with their problems when they are older. 

If you’re too friendly - almost permissive - then kids may not build boundaries or feel like they have strong adult guidance. 

Stability, structure, boundaries, consequences - all are incredibly important and things kids thrive on. But so is friendliness.

What Resilience Really Means

Resilience isn’t just about toughing it out, it’s the ability to bounce back from failure or rejection. It’s about taking a moment to cry, feel bad, and then quickly figuring out what’s next.

The truth is, if kids dwell too long on setbacks or shy away from hard things, they aren’t developing the resilience they’ll need in life. They need to face challenges, fail, and try again. That’s how they grow.     

Why Failure is the Best Teacher

Some of you reached out after the last issue (love the texts—keep them coming! 😄) asking more about this story, so here’s the scoop: My son, who’s an actor, auditions constantly. He’s had over 120 auditions so far, and I’ve kept a Google Sheet to track them all. Out of those, he’s been rejected from at least 110.

I show him the list occasionally—not to discourage him, but to remind him how far he’s come and how much better he’s getting with each try. He’s learning that rejection is just part of the process, and each “no” brings him closer to a “yes.”   

Have children lost the ability to fail successfully? READ here! 

Natural or Nurtured?

Here’s the million-dollar question: Are kids born resilient, or can we teach them? The answer is both.

Some kids seem naturally tough and adaptable, but circumstances play a big role too. Kids who’ve faced adversity often grow into resilient adults. But what about kids who come from privileged backgrounds, where life is relatively smooth?  

That’s where parents need to step in. Through activities like sports or creative challenges, we can help privileged kids build the resilience they might not develop otherwise.  

19 subtle yet powerful ways to teach resilience without overwhelming them! READ here 

How Parents Can Build Resilience in Kids

Here are some actionable ways to help your kids build resilience:

1. Let Them Fail: Intentionally allow kids to face setbacks and point out their progress when they overcome challenges.

   • Example: “Remember when you couldn’t shoot those baskets? Look at you now after all that practice!”

2. Share Your Failures: Talk about your own struggles to normalize failure as part of life.

   • Example: “As adults, we’ve failed a thousand times. Kids need to know it’s part of growing up.”

3. Celebrate Effort Over Results: Focus on the hard work, not just the outcome.

4. Encourage Reflection: Casual conversations like, “What didn’t go well today?” help kids process setbacks and learn from them. 

And that’s a wrap for this issue, parents! 💗

But before you leave, don’t forget to check this out… ⬇️👀

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧

Resilience isn’t about shielding kids from every bump in the road. It’s about giving them the tools to navigate challenges on their own. 

So, the next time your child struggles, pause before stepping in. Let them fail, let them learn, and watch them grow. 

What’s your take? Are we protecting kids too much or just enough? Reply to this email—I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Catch you next time, 

Lakshmi (Chief of Chill Parenting)