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How to make good habits stick for kids—without the power struggles!
Fun tips to help your kids build lasting habits they’ll actually enjoy. Tiny wins, big results!
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You know how it goes—try telling a kid to brush their teeth every night because it’ll keep their teeth healthy in the future, and you’ll get a blank stare (or worse, a debate).
For kids, it’s all about what they get right now.
No quick reward, no deal.
So, if we want these habits to stick, we need to make it fun, keep it simple, and give them little wins they can actually feel.
This edition dives into exactly how to make that happen so you can build lasting habits.🪥
What Do the Kids Really Think About Building Habits? 🤔
Full disclosure: they don’t think about building habits (like never)
We need to understand kids are different, and so are their needs. Habit-building becomes an intrinsic part as an adult, but in kids, not really!
I’ve put together a table for you to understand how both kids and adults perceive habits. Check it out here ⬇️
ASPECT | ADULT 👫🏼 | KIDS 🧒 |
|---|---|---|
Motivation | Long-term benefits | Immediate rewards |
Focus | Consistency and discipline | Fun and quick wins |
Commitment | Self-driven | Need guidance and encouragement |
Understanding | See the bigger picture | Need tangible, short-term results |
Now we see the gap, don’t we!! 👀
How to Help Your Kids Build a Habit and Make Sure It Sticks?
The secret lies in the habit loop.
Let’s talk about the habit loop and the triggers to ensure the next new habit lands well with your child.
🔹 Craving: Spark a desire for the habit, even if the payoff is later.
🔹 Cue: Establish clear triggers, like bedtime for brushing teeth.
🔹 Response: Make the habit simple and consistent, like laying out school items nightly.
🔹 Reward: Provide immediate rewards to reinforce and motivate the habit.
How my 11 year-old built his homework routine, understanding the habit loop: |
|---|
🔹 Craving: Kids need a reason to start a habit, especially if the payoff feels distant. For my son, knowing he’d get free time in the evening was enough to make him want to finish his homework early. The desire for a relaxed evening became his motivation. |
🔹 Cue: For him, the bus ride home is now the cue to begin homework. Associating homework with a specific time and setting makes it easy to remember. |
🔹 Response: The actual habit or “response” is doing the homework. By keeping it straightforward and manageable (just finishing it on the bus), he can stay consistent without feeling overwhelmed. |
🔹 Reward: Kids need immediate rewards to reinforce habits. His reward? An evening free from schoolwork, with time to watch YouTube, play, or relax. This instant payoff keeps him motivated to repeat the habit daily. |
Think about every new habit alongside the habit loop in mind.
The craving > cue > response > reward!
Parents, Start Practicing This More Often…
1. The 1% Better Rule
When it comes to building habits with kids, big changes just don’t stick. That’s where the “1% Better Rule” comes in. The goal is to make small, steady improvements each day.
If we’re working on tidiness, I’ll start with something like just putting away toys each night. Once that’s a habit, we add one more thing, like setting out school stuff for the next day. These small wins make them feel accomplished without getting overwhelmed. And they keep getting better 💓
2. Role Modeling: Show, Don’t Just Tell
Kids naturally mimic us, so role modeling is one of the most powerful ways to reinforce positive habits. Instead of just telling my kids to read or study, I join them, setting aside “work time” for myself alongside them. When they see me engaged, they’re more likely to follow suit.
I’ll often do a second workout with them just for fun. We turn it into a game, teasing each other or racing, so it doesn’t feel like a chore—it becomes something fun we do together.
3. Making Habits Fun and Rewarding
Gamifying the process can make habit-building feel enjoyable. For instance, I sometimes take my kids for a run to the nearest Starbucks, where they can earn a treat at the end. Combining a habit with fun and a reward makes it something they look forward to, not just something they have to do.
Turn routines into fun challenges, like “beat the clock” clean-ups, or setting up small rewards can make it all feel like less of a chore and more of a bonding experience.
Second Brain Reporting for Duty: Try this AI Assistant
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Manage your calendar and send invites and reminders
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Scan email attachments for key dates and to-dos
Send you daily summaries to help you prep for your day and resolve scheduling conflicts
Create meal plans and grocery lists and even add items to your Instacart shopping cart.
Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 😌
Building habits with kids isn’t about getting it perfect every time—it’s about showing up, little by little. Each small step you take is helping them grow, even if it doesn’t feel like much at the moment.
So keep it simple, keep it fun, and don’t stress the small stuff. You’re giving them a foundation that’ll last, and that’s what really counts. Just remember, you’re doing great, and these small wins will pay off down the road.
Catch you next time!
– Lakshmi (Chief of Chill Parenting 😎)