Hi there,

Have you ever heard your child say, "Nobody played with me today..."?

It's one of those heartbreaking moments that leaves you wondering what to say or how to help.

Friendship struggles are tough — both for kids and parents. Whether your child is shy, anxious, or just figuring out how to connect, building strong friendships takes time (and sometimes, a little guidance).

Hi I am Lakshmi, mom of two, working in the trenches just like YOU. And in this edition we’re talking about child friendships and more…

Seeking impartial news? Meet 1440.

Every day, 3.5 million readers turn to 1440 for their factual news. We sift through 100+ sources to bring you a complete summary of politics, global events, business, and culture, all in a brief 5-minute email. Enjoy an impartial news experience.

Join for free today!

Understanding the WHY ❔

Kids struggle with friendships for all sorts of reasons, shyness, social anxiety, or even just not knowing how to start a conversation. 

The truth is, every child is different. Some kids dive right in; others hang back and observe.

If your child is feeling left out, try asking gentle questions like:

• “Was there anyone you wanted to play with today?”

• “How did that make you feel?” 

This gives you a better idea of what’s really going on. 

This article explains why YOUR kid might be struggling with making friends!  

When Your Child Stands by a Friend 🤍

Sometimes, the lesson isn’t just about making friends — it’s about being a good one.

Storytime: There’s a kid who gets bullied because other kids find him annoying and he often ends up alone as no kid wants to play with him. 

I have seen my younger one hangout with him even when all his other friends don’t.  

Now, that’s powerful. 

Teaching kids to stick by their friends, even when it’s not the popular choice, builds kindness, loyalty, and empathy. 

Encourage your child to ask: 

• “How would I feel if that were me?”

These small moments create lifelong values. 

What Makes a Good Friend?

Kids don’t always know what a good friend actually looks like, and it’s easy for them to mistake popularity or excitement for true connection.

Instead of just talking about kindness or respect (which can feel vague), try giving them clear, real-life examples:

🤝 “A good friend is someone who remembers what you said, even if it was something small, like your favorite snack or the book you’re reading.”

🤝 “A good friend doesn’t make you feel like you have to impress them. You can just be yourself.”

🤝 “A good friend will tell you the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear, because they care about you.” 

And if your child’s unsure about a friendship, ask:

• “Do you feel like you can talk to them when you’re sad?”

• “When something great happens, is this the person you want to tell first?”

These questions help kids recognize the feeling of a healthy friendship, something that’s far easier to understand than vague traits like ‘kindness’ or ‘respect.’

When to Say, "This Friendship Isn’t Good for You" 🫂

Not all friendships are meant to last, and sometimes, as a parent, you’ll spot the red flags before your child does. Maybe their friend keeps putting them down, pushing bad behavior, or just leaves them feeling drained.

Personally, I wouldn’t jump in right away, kids hate that. 

Instead, I’d start by asking, “How do you feel after hanging out with [friend’s name]?” 

If they seem unsure or upset, I’d gently share what I’ve noticed. If things keep going south, that’s when I’d step in, not to control, but to remind them that real friends make you feel better, not worse.

When Should Parents Step In? 🪜

This one’s tricky — and there’s no one-size-fits-all answer.

Some parents jump in too soon (hello, helicopter parenting), while others let their kids figure everything out on their own (free-range parenting).

Here’s the sweet spot: Step in only when it gets too much.

If your child seems sad, overwhelmed, or constantly excluded, that’s your cue to have a chat.

Try asking:

• “Do you want my help with this?”

• “Would you feel better if we talked to your teacher together?”

Sometimes, knowing they’re not alone is all your child needs.

What If They’re Being Bullied?

If your child tells you they’re being bullied, start by staying calm and asking questions like, “Was there an adult around when this happened?” or “Has this been going on for a while?” 

This helps you understand if teachers are aware or if it’s been happening repeatedly. The key here is to listen first, your child may just need to feel heard before they’re ready to talk about solutions. 

Once you know what’s happening, help your child explore ways they feel comfortable handling it. 

✅ This could mean asking a teacher for support, finding a new group of friends, or joining a different activity where they feel more included. 

✅If the situation gets worse, it’s okay to step in, but reassure your child that you’re doing it to support them, not to make things harder. 

How to help your kid if they are getting bullied. And next steps!

Remind them of their strengths, encourage friendships that feel safe, and most importantly, let them know they’re never alone in this. 

That’s all for today’s issue, parents! 🩷

See you next week, with another interesting topic. But first, check this out 👀⬇️

Inside the Laid-back Parent’s Internet History this week: 

Note for My Fellow Laid-Back Parents 📧 

If you're the kind of parent who likes to hang back and let your kid figure things out, you're not alone. Sometimes giving them space is the best thing you can do.

Trust your gut, step in when it feels right, but know that just being their safe space at home is often enough. Remind them that mistakes are part of growing up, and you’re there to guide them, not fix everything for them. 

They’ve got this... and so do you. ❤️

Catch you next time, 

Lakshmi (Chief of Chill Parenting)