Are you a Lighthouse Parent? ⛯

Lighthouse Parenting: Meet the New Parent on the Block!

Author

Lakshmi Jayanthi
October 03, 2024

In partnership with

In partnership with

Jellyfish parents, crunchy moms, almond moms, scrunchy moms, Sharenters, Apple watch dads, helicopter parents, tiger moms, bulldozer parents, and Momfluencers. (see our explicative chart below!)

Which one are you?

Wait, what’s that? You don't see yourself in this list of never-ending parenting personalities? But now, guess what, there’s a new parent on the block:

Lighthouses.

Lighthouse parents provide a stable source of guidance for their children — like a lighthouse — while also giving them the freedom to navigate their own waters. Think of it as the perfect blend of “I've got your back” and “You've got this, kiddo!”

So, What's the Deal with These Illuminating Individuals?

The lighthouse method is a balanced approach, and develops emotionally healthy children and adolescents “who go on to have deep, enduring relationships with their parents for their entire lifetime,” says U.S. pediatrician Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg in his upcoming manual, Lighthouse Parenting: Raising Your Child With Loving Guidance for a Lifelong Bond (that’s quite a mouthful!).

They are:

  • Sturdy and reliable

  • Not controlling (ahem!)

  • Balanced in their approach

The Power of Stepping Back

Russel Shaw, an educator and parent, recently shared his experience in The Atlantic about letting his children figure things out on their own. His realization? Kids are often more capable of solving problems than we give them credit for.

While it's natural to want to help when our children face challenges, Shaw warns that constant intervention can undermine a child’s confidence in their own abilities. It’s about finding the right balance between support and independence.

Sponsored by Chime

Open a Checking Account in 2 Minutes

Chime’s fee-free overdraft can spot you up to $200 with Spotme ®*.

*SpotMe® on Debit is an optional, no fee overdraft service attached to your Chime Checking Account. To qualify for the SpotMe on Debit service, you must receive $200 or more in qualifying direct deposits to your Chime Checking Account each month and have activated your physical Chime Visa® Debit Card or secured Chime Credit Builder Visa® Credit Card. Qualifying members will be allowed to overdraw their Chime Checking Account for up to $20 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals initially but may later be eligible for a higher limit of up to $200 or more based on Chime Account history, direct deposit frequency and amount, spending activity and other risk-based factors. The SpotMe on Debit limit will be displayed within the Chime mobile app and is subject to change at any time, at Chime’s sole discretion. Although Chime does not charge any overdraft fees for SpotMe on Debit, there may be out-of-network or third-party fees associated with ATM transactions. SpotMe on Debit will not cover any non-debit card transactions, including ACH transfers, Pay Anyone transfers, or Chime Checkbook transactions. SpotMe on Debit Terms and Conditions.

Lighthouse Parenting 101: Guiding Principles

Here’s my take on realistic possibilities:

  1. Set firm, consistent boundaries

  2. Allow kids to navigate their own challenges, within reason

  3. Show trust in their abilities, even when they make unexpected choices (or a choice different from your own)

  4. Listen more and resist the urge to immediately fix every problem (easier said than done, I know)

Modern Parenting Styles Explained

What Can Parents Do?

👂🏽 Practice active listening without interrupting

🙋🏽 Encourage problem-solving by asking "What do you think you could do?"

💬 Set clear, consistent boundaries with explanations

💪🏼 Model resilience by sharing how you overcome your own challenges

🥳 Celebrate efforts and the learning process, not just outcomes

Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. The key is finding a balance that works for your family while providing the guidance and support your children need to thrive.

Sponsored by Compare.com

Car Insurance rates are as low as ever.

✓ Real-time, accurate quotes
✓ We partner with 70+ top auto insurers
✓ Rated 4.7/5 stars on Shopper Approved®